Distortion and Clarity
by OrbitZero
Summary: He wasn't sure how he got here, 50,000 light years from Earth, hundreds of years in the future. He's soon going to find that he isn't the only one with this problem. Two assassins, one drell, one human, will work together to unravel the mystery behind the space-time disturbance.


Hey so I don't normally put notes before a story, but there are just a few things. First, I know that you're probably thinking: a _fighting _game crossover? I promise it will be fun. I'm not super-familiar with the street fighter fandom. But, I'm sort of co-writing this with ElectricSmile, who knows those ropes a little better and, in my opinion, has taken the two-dimensional characters of SF and fleshed them out into deeper versions of themselves. We realized a while ago that both of our favorite video game characters happen to be expert assassins, and thought it would be fun to collaborate and have them meet each other. So we devised this absurd plot. She is mainly helping with the characterization of Vega, while I am doing the rest of the writing. I try to go over what she's written with him so the writing style is consistent throughout. There aren't any romances, and this takes place pre-ME1. Hope it isn't too bad!

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Confusion was too mild a word for all of this. It was a head rush. He wanted to break down and start screaming. If he hadn't been so used to playing at being a well-composed human being, he probably would have. But practice makes perfect, so he kept laying there for a minute, just taking in this bizarre and somewhat horrifying place. Bizarre because, there in that corner was something that looked a bit like a faceless mammoth without a trunk conversing with some creature with that looked like an upright bug. Here to the left, there was a pair of blue women giggling to each other. At that intersection there, an honest-to-God regular human being was gesticulating wildly as it spoke with something that looked reminiscent of a bipedal frog. He felt panic rising and tried to stuff it down. He couldn't understand most of what was being said around him. Even if it hadn't been in languages he didn't know, the mere shock of it all would have made it impossible to pay attention. Flying vehicles screamed by overhead. The sky wasn't blue, because there wasn't a proper sky at all. Something like a city seemed to be floating over there, he figured, based on the network of lights that glittered above him. And worst of all was this feeling that he wasn't one-hundred percent grounded to the floor. Like gravity wasn't working at full strength.

Two questions above all others cycled rapidly through his brain. Where was he? And how did he get here? He tried hard to remember what he'd been doing before he woke up on this park bench. Was it a _park _bench, exactly? Who knew anymore? A dry, monotonous, "HAAA HA HA" reverberated from that corner where the mammoth-thing stood.

Eventually he'd have to do something. He didn't know what yet. It was surely wishful thinking that this was all a dream. Every weird sight, every bizarre sound, every alien smell, was too real.

Alien. A hysterical laugh escaped his lips. No, no, don't use that word. That was not a good way to start your morning.

He covered his face with his hands, thinking, maybe this would go away when he uncovered his eyes again. But the noise remained. If anything, the noise got closer. He pulled his hands away, and was horrified to find two of these bug-people standing over him. He stared in horror, wondering what would come next. One of them spoke, its mandibles quivering. He didn't understand. It was a garbled mess of noise, and he kept staring. It repeated itself, the words-if they were words-seemed slower this time, with the creature pointing one of its three fingers at him, then waving a claw in the opposite direction. He kept staring. If he just stayed here like this, surely he would give this thing no reason to hurt him. He knew how to handle himself in a fight with other people. He was very skilled, very deadly. But how was he supposed to gauge how strong these things were? Those waists looked tiny. Maybe that was the best thing to aim for if they did attack him.

The other spoke to the first one. It seemed to be gesturing to him, towards his neck. They were figuring out his vulnerabilities as a human. That was it, wasn't it? They were going to tear his throat out. He didn't move. The first spoke to him slowly again, then took him by the wrist.

He didn't think, just reacted. He swung a leg up, and caught the creature grabbing him in the side of the face. It cried out. He took the brief distraction, and bolted. The things yelled out after him. He glanced over his shoulder, confirming his fear that they were chasing him down. He followed what seemed like a sidewalk, weaving through weirder and weirder sights. He seemed to be attracting the attentions of everything. Something, one of those frog people, attempted to reach out to him. It wasn't fast enough. He looked back again. Those two bug-people were gaining on him.

Then he slammed into something. He fell to the ground, landing on top of something. Something squirming. He was briefly face to face with a...oh, hell if he knew, a lizard-man? It spoke as it pushed itself up, offering a hand that almost seemed normal until you realized it was green, and two of the fingers seemed fused together. He pushed himself up, not wanting to touch it, and tried to keep running when he was suddenly seized by the back of his shirt. They'd caught him. "No!" he growled out. He felt one of his arms being grabbed and forced behind his back. The other, he lashed out with, catching the creature in the face. The other attempted to subdue him, but he put his weight against the thing that was holding his arm, and planted both of his feet into the other's stomach. It stumbled back. He pulled hard, trying to break free of the other's grip. It slipped just enough, and he tried to run again. But the one he'd kicked had recovered just enough. It tried to hit him-he thought, at least-so he ducked, and lunged at the thing. It grunted as he got his arms around it as best he could, his momentum taking them both to the floor. The other attempted to pull him up, and he elbowed it in the stomach. That had to be their vulnerable spot, their narrow little waists. Their chests were too big for him to imagine doing much damage to them there with his bare hands.

He felt a claw on his leg, and glanced down in time to see the one he'd forced to the ground pull his feet out from under him. He was quick enough to put out his hands and turn it into a back handspring instead of falling flat on his ass. But it gave the other one the chance to catch him. Both of his arms were pulled behind his back this time.

The incident had drawn quite a crowd. Frog-people, bug-people, the lizard-man, blue women, and-oh God, was it, an actual _human being? _"Hey!" he cried out to the guy. "You! Hey! Help me! They're going to kill me!"

"What?" the guy said, face scrunching up in disbelief. Like he'd just said the stupidest thing ever. So there went his help.

The thing holding him seemed interested in the conversation. Could it understand them? Its partner waved the other human towards them, saying something to it. "You understand these things?" he cried at the man. "Tell them not to kill me!"

"They're not going to kill you," the man said. "Are you on drugs or something?" The guy almost seemed disgusted. He felt irritated at that. How could someone expect him to be anything other than terrified in a situation like this? The man looked at the other creature that had been assailing him, and said, "What do you need me for?"

It spoke back, pointing at him as he squirmed in the grip of its partner. The human nodded, and turned to him. "They want to know if your translator is working?"

"Translator?" he echoed.

"Yeah?" the guy said, as if it were obvious.

He looked from the human to the other creature. It was watching him, and it looked pissed. "What's going on?" he said finally. He didn't care if he looked insane to these people. Non-people. Whatever they were. "Where am I?"

The guy looked slightly confused, and said to the tall creature, "I think he's on drugs."

"I'm not on drugs!" he shouted back, struggling harder at the accusation. The thing holding him pulled him back. "Look, I woke up here, on that bench. I don't know how I got here. Tell them that. I don't know where I am."

The guy sighed, but relayed the message. The two creatures looked at each other, said something he couldn't understand. The human said, "They want to know if you've been kidnapped?"

"I. Don't. _Know!_" he hissed through gritted teeth.

"I'm doing you a favor, druggie, so chill out," the guy responded.

A loud voice cut through the murmuring and chatter of the crowd, getting everyone's attention. A third tall creature, dressed in the same weird blue outfit as the other two, had come to complicate things. It was waving its arms, as if to usher people away. Behind it, however, was another human, dressed in a similar outfit. Maybe that one would be more help than this other asshole. Reluctantly, the crowd dispersed, trying to move slowly to catch the whole show.

He could only understand the human as the four spoke to each other. "Passed out on a bench?" "Wonder what he ran off for." "_Attacked _you?"

"Hey!" he shouted upon hearing that. "No, they attacked me first!"

All of their attentions were on him now. The human approached him. "If I tell him to let you go, are we going to have a problem?" the man asked. It was clear by his tone this wasn't a threat, but an offer.

"No," he responded.

"Okay. You can let him go, Tarius," the man said, waving a hand. The creature released him, but stayed close. "Would you like to explain to me exactly why you felt the need to assault a pair of C-Sec officers?"

He stared back for a moment. Officers. Like police? Military? So it shouldn't surprised him that they'd twisted the story around. That they didn't tell how they'd grabbed him when he was just minding his own business on a bench. Was that illegal here? "They started it," he said defiantly. "They grabbed me. I was sitting there." He nodded back from where he thought he'd come from.

"They said you were asleep."

"It's illegal to sleep here?" he spat.

"Not necessarily, but people don't usually come here to sleep on the benches. They were trying to ask you if you needed help. They said you seemed upset. Now, from what I've heard, your translator is broken?"

"I don't have a translator," he responded. That seemed to be standard issue here, given that he'd been bugged about it by two separate people.

"Why would you come to the Citadel without one?"

"I didn't come here," he said angrily. "I don't know where I am, or how I got here. Why is everyone having such a hard time understanding this?"

"Calm down," the man said, raising a hand. "So you think you've been kidnapped?"

"Maybe? I don't know," he said, getting tired of repeating that. This place was completely foreign, and the only thing familiar about it was the occasional human, who seemed to think he was an idiot. "I went to sleep last night in my bed. I woke up on that bench. I don't know how I got here, or what this place even is, or what all of these things are." He spread his hands, meaning all of the weird creatures.

"Where are you from, son?"

His lip twitched at the condescension. He was a Commander, one of the top assassins in one of the most notorious terrorist organizations in the history of the planet. Who was this guy calling 'son'? But of course, he couldn't say that. Revealing that facet of his identity would have landed him in prison fairly quickly. "Barcelona."

"Barcelona?" the man asked. "That's on Earth, isn't it?"

He stared. "Last...time I checked, _yes_," he answered slowly. Who was the idiot now?

"Where were you last night? Before you woke up here?"

"In my home, in Barcelona," he said, irritably repeating himself.

"That's a hell of a joyride," the man said.

"What are you talking about?"

"50,000 light years all while you were asleep, just to be dumped on a bench. Got someone in your life who likes playing pranks?"

He shook his head. "What do you mean 50,000 light years? What does that have to do with anything?"

"That's how far the Citadel is from Earth." He felt his heart stop. That couldn't be right. This was all an elaborate joke. A detailed dream? He'd already ignored that from the start.

The man seemed to notice the sick look that came over his face. "You alright, son?" He didn't answer. He was too mortified. 50,000 light years. How could he possibly travel that far overnight? And he hadn't aged a day? "Look, why don't you come back to the station with me. We'll get you a translator, try to figure this mess out. Maybe put you on a ship back home."

Home? Would home even be there by the time he got back? Everyone he knew was dead, if he'd really traveled so far and understood relativity as well as he thought he did. That meant Cammy... No, this had to be a joke. So he laughed. "Yes, fine, let's do that," he said through his laughter.

"What's your name?"

"My name is Vega."


End file.
